Whose Holy Spirit Are You Trying to Be?

Whose Holy Spirit are you trying to be?

Your husband’s?

A new believer’s?

A friend’s?

Someone whose behavior you don’t like—or don’t believe lines up with the Word of God?

Who are you judging while calling it love?

Who are you correcting while saying, “I’m only telling you this because I love you”?

Who are you calling out because you’ve decided their behavior needs to change?

These are hard questions. And God has been teaching me that sometimes what I call love may actually be my attempt to do a job that belongs to the Holy Spirit.

Put Down the Magnifying Glass

I remember something God brought back to me during my quiet time.

Years ago, my Al-Anon sponsor told me:

“Tricia, you need to learn to put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror.”

I have never forgotten those words. The magnifying glass was what I was holding over someone else.

What are they doing?

Why are they behaving that way?

Can’t they see this is wrong?

Don’t they know what the Bible says?

But the mirror required me to look somewhere completely different.

At me.

At my heart.

At my motives.

At the feelings underneath my desire to “help” someone else.

Was it really love?

Or was there judgment mixed in?

Criticism?

Hurt?

Anger?

Fear?

A desire to control?

The lesson wasn’t that I should stop caring about people. It was that I needed to trust God with the person I kept examining through my magnifying glass.

God didn’t need me to become their Holy Spirit.

He was asking me to trust the real Holy Spirit to do His work in them—while allowing Him to do His work in me.

There Is a Place for Loving Correction

This doesn’t mean we should never correct one another.

There is something incredibly beautiful about having mature, godly people in our lives who love us enough to speak truth to us.

Scripture tells us:

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.”

— Galatians 6:1

But notice that word:

Gently.

Godly correction isn’t an excuse to unload our frustration on someone and put a Bible verse behind it.

Before speaking into someone’s life, I believe we need to examine what is happening inside our own hearts.

If I’m angry, hurt, judgmental, resentful, or critical, those feelings can easily find their way into my words—even when I insist that what I’m saying is “out of love.”

That’s when I need the mirror again.

Love Doesn’t Have to Control the Outcome

One of the greatest things I’ve learned over the years is simply to love people where they are.

That doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything they do.

It doesn’t mean unhealthy behavior suddenly becomes healthy.

It doesn’t mean I can’t have boundaries.

And it doesn’t mean truth no longer matters.

It means I can love someone without believing it is my responsibility to change them.

When someone asks for my opinion, I try to pause and check my own heart first.

Are there feelings involved besides love?

Am I speaking because they asked me—or because I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to tell them what I think?

Am I trying to help them hear from God, or am I trying to convince them to see things my way?

Then, when I do share, I want my words to point them back to the Father.

Seek Him.

Ask Him.

Let Him validate what is true.

Let Him show you how to proceed.

Because ultimately, my opinion isn’t the final authority.

God is.

A Challenge for This Week

For the next seven days, I want to challenge you—and myself—to pay attention to how often we reach for the magnifying glass instead of the mirror.

When you feel the urge to correct someone, point out their behavior, give unsolicited advice, or explain what you believe they should be doing, stop for a moment.

Before you speak, ask the Father:

“Is this mine to say?”

Then ask yourself:

“What is happening in my own heart right now?”

Is it love? Or is there some hurt, anger, fear, frustration, judgment, criticism, or desire to control mixed in?

And here’s the harder part: if God doesn’t release you to say anything, be willing to remain quiet.

Pray instead.

Trust the Holy Spirit to speak to that person in the way, timing, and language He knows they need.

Then pick up the mirror and ask:

“Father, what are You wanting to show me about me?”

This week, choose prayer over criticism, curiosity over judgment, and trust over control.

You don’t have to be anyone else’s Holy Spirit.

Maybe It’s Time to Pick Up the Mirror

Before we correct someone, call someone out, or tell someone what we believe God thinks about their behavior, perhaps we should ask ourselves:

Whose Holy Spirit am I trying to be?

Maybe the person we’re worried about really does need correction.

But perhaps God is already working on them.

And maybe—at the very same time—He’s trying to work on us.

So today, I’m reminding myself of something I learned many years ago:

Put down the magnifying glass.

Pick up the mirror.

Love people.

Pray for them.

Speak truth when God genuinely gives you the opportunity and the right heart to do so.

And then trust the Holy Spirit to be the Holy Spirit.

He is much better at His job than we will ever be.

Let the Holy Spirit be the Holy Spirit—and give Him permission to work on you, too.

With love,

Tricia