From Religion to Relationship: What It Really Means to Lay Down Your Life

What It Really Means to Lay Down Your Life

For a long time, I believed that laying down your life for Christ was something horrible—something marked by loss, suffering, and constant self-denial.

I was raised in a church culture where devotion was measured by how much you suffered, how much you did without, and how much you gave away. The more uncomfortable your life was, the more you were told you looked like Christ. Sacrifice became a standard, and suffering often felt like proof of faith.

But I’ve come to realize that what I was taught was not the fullness of the gospel. It was religion—a system of rules shaped by human interpretation rather than intimate relationship.

Years later, everything changed.

I encountered a God I never knew existed.

Not the God of obligation, fear, or performance—but a God whose love is unmatched, whose kindness leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4), and whose desire is not ritual, but relationship. A God who wants His people to truly know Him.

That encounter changed me in ways I still struggle to put into words.

Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). For the first time, I understood what He meant. My faith was no longer about surviving Christianity—it was about living in Him.

My heart didn’t simply decide to serve God—my desires were transformed. Scripture says, “It is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13). What once felt like obligation became joy. What once felt like loss became freedom.

Yes, I have laid my life down to live for Him—but not from pressure or fear. I live from love.

Jesus said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). For years, I thought this meant self-erasure and constant suffering. But now I see it differently. Denying myself was never about destroying who I am—it was about surrendering who I thought I had to be, so I could become who He created me to be.

When you truly encounter God, obedience changes.

“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments” (John 14:15). Obedience no longer flows from fear of punishment, but from love. Sacrifice stops feeling like punishment and begins to feel like purpose.

Oh, how I wish people could understand this Jesus.

The Jesus who doesn’t demand perfection but offers transformation.

The Jesus who says, “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

The Jesus who restores hearts bruised by religion and replaces striving with intimacy.

When I read about the apostles—their willingness to be beaten, stoned, rejected, and persecuted—I no longer see people chasing suffering. I see men and women who had encountered God so deeply that nothing else mattered more. They lived out the truth of “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21).

They did not grow weary of doing the will of the Father because they were not sustained by religion—they were sustained by love.

A Gentle Challenge: How Do You Meet This God?

If you’re reading this and your heart feels weary… if your faith feels heavy… if Christianity feels more like obligation than life—I want to invite you to something different.

Not more rules.

Not more striving.

Not more self-punishment.

But encounter.

Scripture says, “You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). Meeting God is not about doing everything right—it’s about coming honestly.

Here is the challenge:

Set aside the performance.

Lay down the expectations.

Come to God exactly as you are.

Sit with Him. Talk to Him. Ask Him to reveal Himself—not the version you were taught, but who He truly is. Open the Word not to check a box, but to know His heart. Start with the Gospels. Watch Jesus. Listen to His words. Notice how He treats people.

And then wait.

Because God is not hiding from you. “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you” (James 4:8).

If you truly want to know Him, He will meet you. And when He does, everything changes.

Laying down your life will no longer feel like death—it will feel like life as it was always meant to be lived.

With Love, 

Tricia